Why I hate Uwe Boll.

If you’re not familiar with the man I’ll fill you in. He’s the terrible, German born, movie director who has ruined many a good name of popular video game franchises. He’s responsible for one of the worst movies I’ve ever seen: Alone in the Dark. What makes the hurt even worse is that I really enjoyed the five videogames in that series and the new one coming up looks incredible. He’s also responsible for ruining the names of the following franchises: BloodRayne, Dungeon Siege, Postal, House of the Dead, and FarCry. Like me you may be wondering who keeps giving this man fistfuls of cash to make such terrible movies. The answer was, at one point, the German government. Apparently there was some tax loophole where the foreign government would give money to struggling German entrepreneurs in America. So even if one of Boll’s movies failed miserably (which all of them did) he would still rank in the dough. Boll would intentionally make his movies as low-budget as he could so he could keep more of the money. Luckily the loophole was recently closed and now the director will actually feel the punch that he gets from his terrible work. If his professional life isn’t despicable enough it turns out he’s a terrible person as well. When Uwe Boll got tired of all the deserving terrible reviews his films were getting he issued a physical challenge to any reviewer to box him in three rounds. Too bad Uwe Boll handpicked the weakest challengers he knew he could beat up one after another. In the end, I hate Uwe Boll for all those reasons.